If anyone was born with an identity crisis, I believe I was. How many kids are born with one name, but given an entirely different one. I’m not talking about a nick name that goes with your name. My name is Charlene, so I could see if I was named “Charlie” for short, but no—I was born with an entirely different name that was never legally mine to use. I was named “Sally”, and I was called “Sally” my whole life, even up to now. So when I had to start school, I had to learn my real name, and learn how to spell it.
I remember learning to write my name in the first grade, and I got my nick name mixed up with my last name, and for the longest time, I was printing my name as “Charlene Savilly” rather than “Saville”. After several weeks of my misspelling my name, my teacher brought it to my parent’s attention, by sending a note home with me to give to them.
As students, we did get to be called by our nick names if we wanted, and I told them mine was “Sally”. Every teacher I ever had asked how I got “Sally” out of “Charlene”. I proceeded to tell each one who asked, that my mom wanted to name me “Sally” and my Grandfather wanted me named after him. If I was a boy, I would have been named Charles, but since I was a girl, Charlene was the only viable choice of names they liked.
Now that I am older, I am still known as Sally. The only time I use my real name is for legal employment purposes and other legal documents. I have tried to get used to my real name for many years and I just haven’t been able to make it fit me. When I say the name, “Charlene” it sounds like someone else’s name. When I hear it called, I barely recognize that I am being spoken to. It is like my name does not belong to me.
I have been making it a point lately to get used to my name, after 57 years of being on this earth. I feel that I ought to get used to it, it’s mine. So when I introduce myself to some new people, I do give them my real name and not just my nick name. When I sign up for things on line, I usually use my real name, rather than my handle or nick name.
What’s in a name, you might ask. That is your identity. My parents naming me one thing and calling me by another caused me to have problems when I was young, and to a point, those problems put a dent into my self-image. Through practice, I am getting out of the rut I was in. I am claiming my identity and striving to be all I can be.
I really believe parents owe it to their children to teach them who they are. They shouldn’t confuse them when they are young. I know I am not the only one that has ever gone through something like this. Parents, if you like a name, stick with it. Don’t change horses in the middle of the stream, and then expect your child to understand what is going on.
