What Were My Parents Thinking Of

If anyone was born with an identity crisis, I believe I was. How many kids are born with one name, but given an entirely different one. I’m not talking about a nick name that goes with your name. My name is Charlene, so I could see if I was named “Charlie” for short, but no—I was born with an entirely different name that was never legally mine to use. I was named “Sally”, and I was called “Sally” my whole life, even up to now. So when I had to start school, I had to learn my real name, and learn how to spell it.

I remember learning to write my name in the first grade, and I got my nick name mixed up with my last name, and for the longest time, I was printing my name as “Charlene Savilly” rather than “Saville”. After several weeks of my misspelling my name, my teacher brought it to my parent’s attention, by sending a note home with me to give to them.

As students, we did get to be called by our nick names if we wanted, and I told them mine was “Sally”. Every teacher I ever had asked how I got “Sally” out of “Charlene”. I proceeded to tell each one who asked, that my mom wanted to name me “Sally” and my Grandfather wanted me named after him. If I was a boy, I would have been named Charles, but since I was a girl, Charlene was the only viable choice of names they liked.

Now that I am older, I am still known as Sally. The only time I use my real name is for legal employment purposes and other legal documents. I have tried to get used to my real name for many years and I just haven’t been able to make it fit me. When I say the name, “Charlene” it sounds like someone else’s name. When I hear it called, I barely recognize that I am being spoken to. It is like my name does not belong to me.

I have been making it a point lately to get used to my name, after 57 years of being on this earth. I feel that I ought to get used to it, it’s mine. So when I introduce myself to some new people, I do give them my real name and not just my nick name. When I sign up for things on line, I usually use my real name, rather than my handle or nick name.

What’s in a name, you might ask. That is your identity. My parents naming me one thing and calling me by another caused me to have problems when I was young, and to a point, those problems put a dent into my self-image. Through practice, I am getting out of the rut I was in. I am claiming my identity and striving to be all I can be.

I really believe parents owe it to their children to teach them who they are. They shouldn’t confuse them when they are young. I know I am not the only one that has ever gone through something like this. Parents, if you like a name, stick with it. Don’t change horses in the middle of the stream, and then expect your child to understand what is going on.

Does the Receipt Prove the Merchandise is Mine?

I do like Wal-Mart, but I don't like some of their practices. When I buy merchandise from Wal-Mart, isn't the receipt mine to show I purchased what is in my cart? One day I was treated so badly I decided right then I would have to say something. I had been shopping and I purchased a printer for my computer. On my way out I was asked for my receipt. I had the receipt in my hand, and a woman grabbed it out of my hand and started walking to the check-out. I kind of called out to her to not run off with my receipt. She walked back to me and said to be quiet and stay put. Of course I said that receipt was my property. Well, to say the least the woman said something about calling the law on me. I said "for what-for asking you not to run off with my property? That receipt is mine!" I stayed there waiting until the woman was satisfied that I had not stolen the printer. I really think the employees are told to give shoppers a hard time when they come out.

Prior to my experience, I had witnessed other people being detained. I noticed one night a lady of Hispanic decent was detained. She had bought some mini blinds among other things. She was stopped and her receipt was taken from her. She couldn't speak a word of English and she was terrified. I felt angry and humiliated for this woman. It seemed to me that certain people were targeted as potential shoplifters. I just don't get it! I've seen things like this time and time again. Why are they treating us the way they do? Why do they treat us all like shoplifters? I understand that during the Christmas time they may have loss of inventory, but is it shoplifters, or is it employees that are walking out with the merchandise? Why did they phase out the Lay Away program? Was it possibly because items were getting gone from the inventory in lay away? I've had items missing before, it made me wonder?

I said I would never walk into Wal-Mart again, but where else can I have one stop shopping. There is no other store like that since K-Mart went out of business in our town of Winder, GA. Before I could feel good about shopping there again, I had to get this mistreatment off my chest. I went in and spoke to the manager and he started to defend her stating that she was doing her job. I stopped him and explained to him that she could do her job in a nicer way. She didn't have to demand my ticket and rip it out of my hand. He agreed and said he would talk to her. What probably happened was that he may have patted her on the back and said "Atta-Girl!" Since that time though, since I spoke to the manager, I did notice that the woman was no longer working at the doors to act as the Gestapo. The last time I saw her was in House wares. I nodded to her, she recognized me and rolled her eyes.

I'm still not in love with Wal-Mart, but it is the least expensive and most convenient place to shop. They have people standing guard at the doors, but I notice that they are very polite. I'm sure they are watching everything like a hawk, which is their job, but they are not treating us like potential shoplifters. Come Christmas and the tide may turn again though... who knows?

Articles That Didn't Make It

The Scars of Living with a Drunk

It's not easy living with an alcoholic. I was never raised in a drinking family and I never had to deal with alcoholism until I married in 1968. My husband's drinking turned into an addiction. It wouldn't have been so bad if he could have been a happy drunk, but he wasn't most of the time. His drinking got worse after the birth of our daughter. He stopped even trying to keep a job. It was up to me to keep the family together and pay the bills and put food on the table. Sometimes I didn't have money to pay the rent because he used the money for whiskey without my knowledge. We would get evicted from one apartment, and we'd start up with another one. It was a cycle and I couldn't seem to keep the family together in one spot because my husband was drunk and being destructive with our money.

I stayed married to my husband for 10 years, before I finally cut him loose. There was nothing I could do really, because he didn't want to help himself. He denied he even had a problem. I was the problem, he said. It was hard for me to decide to leave him, but I knew I didn't want to raise my daughter in an unstable environment. One night it all came to a head when my husband yelled at my daughter and called her a wicked name. She retaliated, called him a drunk and said she hated him. He got up from his chair and charged after her like a bull. I went after him trying to stop him.

My daughter had locked herself in her room, but that lock didn't hold for a second after he kicked the door in. He knocked the door right off its hinges. He picked up my 8 year old daughter and flung her against the wall and she slid to the floor with the wind knocked out of her. Seeing my daughter lifeless on the floor of her room, I picked up the only thing I could see at that moment, which was her baseball bat. I was poised ready to take his head off, I told him to back up and get out of her room and leave. I then called the Sheriff. He went to jail for domestic violence.

I never looked back. I picked up my daughter and went to my parents' home and we lived with them. I divorced my husband. He never tried to see or talk to his daughter again. Alcoholism is a disease that affects the whole family. Even when my husband tried not to drink, he still had the mentality of a drunk. He was behaving like a dry drunk when he wasn't drinking. He was just as mean.

I could tell you that everything worked out well after that, but it didn't. The rift between my daughter and her father never mended. He cleaned up, I heard, years later, but he still never tried to contact her, and that is perfectly acceptable to my daughter. I see every day that the scars from a drunken father left their mark.

All Things AC

I'm sort of flying by the seat of my pants right now. I love being a content producer for Associated Content. I've been steadily writing since January, and I have made somewhere around $1200 now. I just learned about adding widgets to promote my work. I don't even know how that works yet, but I hope to find out.

There are times when I feel that I am hitting up against a brick wall in my writing. After a while, I think the well runs dry for everyone. I am changing my strategy as I feel I need to. When I started getting turned down, I started paying closer attention to my key words. I found out that good key words can make a difference between getting an offer and not getting an offer. Just a few days ago I got a turn down. I didn't do anything to the body of the article. I changed the key words and changed one word in the title. I was then offered $7.02 for the same article they declined.

In the event I get a turn down on an article, and I don't want to change it, I will submit it as a non-exclusive article without payment consideration. Those free articles will earn money on page views, so I no longer feel bad about submitting them.